No More Man In the Mirror *

*Title courtesy of the very funny Queen of Comedy

Michael Jackson passed away yesterday. I found out in the pharmacy line at CVS: a woman behind me was talking on her cell phone, and said, "Hey, did you hear that Michael Jackson died?" A bunch of us standing around her overheard this, and immediately reacted. While my thoughts were pretty much, "Wow, this woman's crazy! Who believes rumors like that?", another woman right next to me was totally shocked, sad look on her face, shaking her head and saying, "Oh my god, how sad, how sad..."

Anyway, that's how I found out. The news spread quickly through my neighborhood. On my walk home through Columbia Heights and then Mt. Pleasant, I heard Michael Jackson music blasting from cars, stores, bars, shops... It was all very surreal.

My feelings about his passing are conflicted. Strike that: my feelings about his legacy are conflicted. As an entertainer, as a musician, he was amazing. I love, love, LOVE his music, all of it, from way back when he was a part of the Jackson 5 through his solo career. He truly was the King of Pop.

At the same time, he was a deeply troubled person. Skin whitening, eating disorders, over fifty plastic surgeries, inappropriate relationships with young boys (I am not going to say pedophilia, because technically, the charges were not proven, but... c'mon, who thinks it's appropriate for an old man to share his bed with a young boy?), drug abuse, money troubles, weird marriage to Elvis Presley's daughter, naming his children Prince Michael I and Prince Michael II... The man had problems. Major problems.

Celebrities are a creation of our own making, and as we elevate them, we subconsciously strip them of flaws and weaknesses we attribute to mere humans. And when they mess up, there is a more extreme reaction than if we were dealing with the Joe next door: either we rally and chastise them for their actions and brand them with a scarlet letter, or we choose to live in denial and blindly defend them against any and all accusations. And that's what happened with Michael Jackson time after time after time...

So what's my conclusion? We need to meet somewhere in the middle. Michael Jackson was only human. Brilliant and flawed, immensely talented and at the same time self-destructive, he grew up in the public eye, and probably dealt with that constant adulation and pressure the best he knew how. His amazing music legacy and charges of pedophelia do not cancel out one another's significance: they just are.

Michael Jackson, human, rest in peace.

Now or Never

At 5:02 pm today, two red line Metro trains collided between Fort Totten and Takoma Park stations.

At 5:33 pm today, I got the first of many text, email, Facebook and phone messages that were continue throughout the evening from friends making sure that I was okay.

I was. I am. Thank you, friends, for checking in :)

We often think that we can keep ourselves and each other safe from tragedies like this. We think that -- if we only drive safely, eat the right food, go to the doctor on a regular basis, take our vitamins, don't walk alone late at night, heed State Department travel warnings -- that we'll be alright. That somehow we'll evade tragedy or death. That this part of our life's journey will be in our control.

But death is not now, nor will it ever be, something that's in our control.

So it's now or never, folks. Whatever it is you're waiting to do when your life is "in order" and everything has "settled down," wait no more. Do it now. Love, forgive, cry, scream, laugh, say goodbye, start anew, give hope, believe again, take a risk, take a break... and most importantly, just live.

Love you, guys.
PoP

Dancing Fool

A couple of years ago, Miss A de la Zen gave me a birthday card that said,

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

I decided recently that I wasn't doing enough of that... going in the direction of my dreams, that is. So I set out to remedy the situation.

I signed up for a dance class! I love to dance, but I've always wanted to know how to really dance. With a partner. Like my parents and grandparents do. Many thanks to my wonderful parents for footing the bill for an eight-week "social dance" course as my upcoming 30th birthday gift (thanks, mom and dad!).

My first class was a week ago, and we learned to waltz! The class was so fun, and it was such a microcosm of the DC dating scene: most students were women, and of the two men who were there, one was gay and one was married. Go figure!

And during break halfway through the class, we pause and have a glass of wine! How civilized!

I head back to class tonight, and I can't wait to see what we learn next. Salsa? Foxtrot? Lindy hop? Hmmm... Stay tuned!

Reflection on Parenting, In Light of Father's Day

I was in Chicago this weekend, attending a good friend's wedding. Well, a wedding and a college reunion of sorts. The groom and I were resident advisors together almost a decade ago (yikes!) and shared the experience with a most incredible group of people I've had the privilege to work with.

Two of those people are Mr. & Mrs. Doozie who met while they were both RAs on my staff. They married a week after graduation, and went on to complete the Teach for America program in a very poor, rural part of the country. Their first son was born during that time. The last time I saw them, the baby was a few months old, and they were adjusting to their new life as a family. It has been five years since then, and I saw the Doozies again this weekend. They just had their third son five months ago.

I have to say, the three little boys were such a joy to be around. The baby mostly slept and ate and slept, so I mostly interacted with the five-year-old and the three-year-old. They never ceased to amaze me. They are funny, loving, kind to one another, playful, communicative... overall, not only well-adjusted children, but kids that I know will grow up to be superb human beings, just like their parents.

I have to give credit where credit's due: Mr. and Mrs. Doozie. They inspired me with their parenting. They treat their children with respect, and expect good things from them. They talk to them as children, but they don't dumb things down, if you know what I mean. And--and I think this is one of the keys to their success -- they teach their children about the world and set clear boundaries for them in a very loving and caring way. They call out bad behavior in the moment, but do not traumatize the kids in doing so. Case in point: the three-year-old was messing around, playing a game of pretend when he got carried away and tried to spit on me. He didn't succeed, but Mr. Doozie noticed it and called the boy to his side. He put his arm around him, and while gently stroking the boy's back, in a very calm and warm (but stern) tone of voice, told him that we don't spit on people, and that he should not do that anymore. It was a very intimate moment as the little boy listened to his dad, agreed, and then ran off to play some more. There was no screaming, no yelling, no calling names, no crying -- something that I see so often in how other parents deal with their kids.

I was so impressed. I had such a good time interacting with the boys that seriously, I am really looking forward to being a parent. Not because it seems fun all the time, but because I see how good parenting can be such a rewarding experience for both parent and child. And it's not all fun and games in the Doozie household either; Mr. Doozie was very clear in telling us about some of the very challenging things about parenting. So no sugar-coating there. But, seriously, watching the Doozies interact with their kids was absolutely heart warming.

I definitely know who I'll be calling for advice one day when O'Phun juniors enter the picture.

Believe It Or Not...

Leo July 23 - August 22

For Sunday, June 21 -The universe has a big day planned for you, full of unexpected arrivals, surprise messages and at least one last-minute turnaround. You may not be tickled about at least one of these situations, especially if it happens to involve a certain person you've been close to, but you'll need to put on a happy face for that event and for the rest of them, too. If anyone can, however, it's theatrical you. Do it to it.

-----------------

I really wish today's WashingtonPost horoscope turned out NOT to be true. But alas, it is ridiculously on point. Let me just say that the "surprise messages" involved both personal and professional matters, and that I was not pleased about either. So here I am, trying to put that happy face on, figuring that we cannot battle Murphy's Law no matter how hard we try.

DC Interns

There is this great new blog in DC collecting stories about Hill interns and poking fun at their ridiculously self-important antics. They just posted a link to House Representative Don Young's (R-AK) "Intern Survival Guide."

You guys HAVE to check this out! Some highlights:

On the Representative's wife:
- "Has good days and bad days, try to get people to warn you"
- "Does not permit noise from the computer"

On Rep. Young (aka "The Boss"):
- "Does not like facial piercings"
- "Expects you to open doors for him (particularly tricky when he does not specify where he is going, make a guess)"

On the office staff:
- "If you're not a Republican don't judge them because they are. Get to know their views and then judge them."

On the Letters:
- "If all else fails, use the 'states rights' argument." [note: so f-ing Republican-typical]

General Advice:
- "Be on time, if you're going to be late, whatever the reason, call Pam. She's had hangovers too and understands -- so long as you let her know..."
- "Chuck is a big Reagan fan."

And one of my personal favorites...

"If you are being chased by armed police man, don't try to escape into a metro station."

Yes, life in DC can suck, but it gives lots of comedic fodder to my writing endeavors...

The Big Easy

Over Memorial Day weekend, I went for a three-day trip to New Orleans, and I have to say -- I LOVE that city! Well, I love all of it except for Bourbon Street; it's like an 24-hour undergrad frat party on steroids, obnoxious drunk people, loud music, open containers and all.

But, the rest of the French Quarter was marvelous! (I say French Quarter, because I spent most of my time there... but more on that below).

So, here's a rundown of NO likes and dislikes:

Drinks
The Worst: Hurricanes. Omg, these drinks are disgusting! When J-Pop and I told people we were coming to New Orleans, everyone was, like, "OMG, you need to get a hurricane from Pat O'Brien's!" So we did. And it was horrible! I took two sips and had to throw it away. Gross! (also, J-Pop did not like coffee with chicory, but I did not mind...)

Gross hurricane from Pat O'Brien's...

The Best: Sazerac. Mmmm... J-Pop and I are calling this "the happy drink" from here on out. A delicious mix of rye whiskey, cognac and bitters. Sipped slowly. We finally found a place that made them our last night in NO (most places did not have rye whiskey, the key ingredient), and it was so worth the wait. Deeeee-lish!

The sazerac! Yum!

Food
The Worst: Honestly, I don't have anything in this category.

The Best: Beignets at Cafe du Monde. Shrimp creole, jambalaya, red beans and rice, gumbo, po-boys -- all these at various NO eating institutions... All. AMAZING.

Beignet from Cafe du Monde

Things To Do:

The Worst: Bourbon Street. Let me not dissuade you from walking down Bourbon at least once, preferably at night, so that you, too, could witness the ridiculousness that is this street. Loud people, even louder music, smell of spilled beer, "gentlemen's clubs," huge to-go cups filled with alcohol of one's choice... So overrated.Typical site on Bourbon Street

The Best: A number of things fall into this category, so let me name them all:

• Cafe du Monde - delicious beignets. My recommendation, go early to avoid the lines, and go to the take-out window. Get your beignets and coffee, and eat them in the park across the street.
• Preservation Hall - AMAZING old school New Orleans jazz. J-Pop and I went there our last night in NO. It's a jazz institution in NO, and you cannot NOT go to it. Imagine it: one room the size of an average classroom; five wooden chairs, an old piano and a drum set on one side; three rows of wooden benches and standing room in the back; brown and gray walls with old photos and paintings covering up the dents; four ceiling fans; no microphones. I seriously felt like I was transported back into the 1930s.
  

Preservation Hall Band

• Frenchmen Street - A little south-east off-shoot of the French Quarter, Frenchmen Street is a little strip of bars and music joints that definitely satiated our thirst for some non-Bourbon Street fun. We ventured there on Sunday night, and found a hoppin' yet much chiller scene with what looked to be a higher concentration of locals than anywhere else we've been. We found ourselves in this little joint called Jim-Beaux's and listened to New Sound, an amazing ensemble of young jazzists, including a kick-ass drummer and a mean clarinet player. Unfortunately, Jim-Beaux's was not very discriminating with its clientele, so we ended up being the "lucky" audience of an self-centered exhibitionist who considered himself a part of the band and decided to do interpretive dancing to each one of their songs. His wild flalings about the dance floor scared--and deeply annoyed--not only us, but also the musicians who on more than one occasion had to dodge one or more of his limbs that eratically whirled about the stage. Nonetheless, it was a great venue, and I hope to return there when I come to NO again.

New Sound @ Jim-Beaux's on Frenchman Street

• Bourbon French Parfums -- I have found my signature scent at this 164-year-old perfumery on La Rue Royal! Kus Kus is deliciously sweet and concocted right there in the heart of the French Quarter. I fell in love with the place right away, and J-Pops and I sniffed and sampled many of their wonderful fragrances. I left with a sample five-pack of their most popular scents: Kus Kus, La Plouie, Margarite, Sans Nom and La Vie Nouvelle. I am sampling them all now and will probably order a bigger packet of Kus Kus when I get through this little bottle. It's like summer and rain and candy and kisses all rolled into one!
  

We also took a Katrina tour that took about 3 hours and drove us all around New Orleans to show us the impact of Hurricane Katrina. I was shocked that there is still so much damage almost five years later. Here are some pics:

On Sept 8, '05, the search team from Arizona didn't find anyone here. On Sept 24, '05, a team from Florida found 2 bodies at the house... after the water had receded.

Many houses remain abandoned five years after the hurricane...entire neighborhood blocks of empty houses.

Many businesses haven't come back yet. This Dollar General store was the only place open on this entire strip mall.

Overall, it was a great trip, and I would recommend it to everyone! It's a beautiful place, wounded but recovering, and it is extremely welcoming and warm. Tourism is one of the major industries in New Orleans, and they really need all the help they can get.

Hmmm

Leo July 23 - August 22

For Friday, May 22 -You still have to get a few things out of your system before you can clear your mind and open up your heart to someone else, so romance needs to take a backseat until then. It might seem ridiculous to reject someone's invitation, but if they really want to get to know you, they'll still be interested when you're ready to give them all the energy and attention they deserve. You can't get involved unless you're available in every sense of the word.

Courtesy www.washingtonpost.com

Once again, the WaPo horoscope is correct. Well, at least in the assessment of the current situation.

Who knows, maybe I'll meet some handsome Southern gentleman on my trip to New Orleans this weekend! :)

Happy Memorial Day weekend, y'all!